Friday, January 4, 2013

Seven Year Itch

Late 2008 and the beginning of 2009 began a slow, but very painful, slope in my life.

My husband of 7 years poured himself into his work. He was in his office day in and day out. He sometimes would work 48 hours straight. If he wasn't working then he was catching up on sleep.

He missed things that I thought were important. He missed family events.

I had to be the one putting a smile on my face saying "he's working again!". I began to resent him. I began to feel very unattracted to him, anything he said or did was like nails on a chalkboard to me. I began to feel like I was all alone. We had two children, but sometimes you just need adult interaction. I began to spend more time with my friends, so I wouldn't feel alone.

He didn't realize he was pushing me away. He didn't realize I cried myself to sleep so many nights. He didn't realize I needed more than just a "hi/bye" interaction.

What I didn't realize is, through my clouded, selfish thinking, he was pouring himself into his work because we were struggling financially. He was doing the only thing he was taught to do.... support his family.

Although 2008/2009 wasn't all bad. Good things did come out of it. He made his first iPhone app, which landed him an amazing job later in the year. We found out we were having our third child - a reconciliation baby.

There is a lot that happened during those times that I wish I could undo. By the grace of God it is all under the blood. In 2012 we celebrated our ELEVENTH anniversary!!!

There are times now when he works long long hours, but he makes sure he is home for dinner, and family game night every Wednesday. He makes sure he has plenty of fun with the kids. He makes sure we have datenights.

I just wanted to encourage someone. Be ware the 7 year itch. It might be 5 years, it my even be 10 years.

Don't be afraid of counseling! Or embarrassed to get counseling, like I was. If your spouse won't take it with you, get counseling for yourself.

Above all else pray. God hears your cry, even when you feel alone. God knows what is best, He has plans for you.
Don't pray for God to change your spouse, pray for God to change you!