Death

In December of 2012 I found out that a little girl, Sophie, was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I had known the family through a Mommy exercise class, but it was just a brief 3 months that we saw each other regularly. It was hard to take it all in. Having a little girl the same age. I didn't let my mind dwell on it too much. I couldn't.

In April 2013 a friend took it upon herself to plan a Fundraiser for the family's medical expenses. It was a huge success, very heart warming.

On December 29, 2013 Sophie passed away. A sweet, full of life, three year old. I got the news when I was driving back from vacation. I told my husband, he continually checked on me to make sure I was ok to drive. He said "just think about our healthy children" I cried even more, "that's the problem, it's just not fair, why did she have to be sick?" That night I let our 3 year old sleep with us without even trying to put her in her bed first. I watched her sleep. I kissed her cheeks. I stroked her hair. I begged and pleaded with God to keep my children healthy. I told Him I couldn't handle it, I was not the one to be tested in that way. Give me any sickness that would ordinarily go to my children. I know that's not the "Christian" thing to do. I know that's not how God works. He doesn't just "zap" us with sickness because He can. I know that. But it's all my human brain could think about.

This week in the store Mayci was a mess. All she wanted me to do was hold her. I was holding items to buy. I was holding her coat. And she was jumping up and down, crying, "hold me." I wanted to be the stern parent. I wanted her to realize she couldn't get one over on me. But then my mind raced to the mom of Sophie. She will never again be able to carry her girl through a store. After I made my little one stop pitching a fit, then I held her.

Today our exercise class was to wear our Bounce-a-Thon shirts so we could get a group picture. A piece of me didn't want to go to class. Because I knew that it would mean I would have to explain to my children why we were wearing them. My 8 & 6 year old would pick up on everyone in matching shirts. And I didn't want them to overhear anything. So I knew I had to tell them. This morning while getting ready, after I found their shirts, I sat them down and asked if they knew why we had them. My 8 year old said "it was to help kids who had a sickness that made them lose their hair". I reminded them who we had fundraiser for. I told them that Sophie died last week. My 8 year old's face just sunk. I could tell she realized what death was. I cried. I told them that we shouldn't be scared that it will happen to any of us. My 6 year old said "I'm scared of heights". (I can always count on him to say off the wall stuff during serious conversations) I told them that whenever they think about it to pray for Sophie's parents. I told them that her parents will be sad forever that she's not with them anymore. I reminded them that God never did this to her, He never wanted it to happen to her. And we have to trust that God will always take care of us. My 8 year old hugged me, we cried together. It was hard. I hugged my 6 year old as well. We went on to finish getting ready, then just 5 minutes later my 8 year old came to me & hugged me again. She made a card to mail to Sophie's parents that said "I'm sorry this happened". I told my older two not to mention it around my 3 year old. We have Sophie's picture on our fridge, my oldest said "so this is the one who died" My little 3 year old was right there and she said, with great emotion, "She's dead? I will never see her again!" and then a dramatic hands in the face cry (not tears, just a drama cry).

This last week has been a very hard week... and it does not even scratch the surface of what the Vincent Family is going through. Right now they are trying to raise money so they can have a proper burial for her. If you can, here is the link to donate money -  Sophie's Celebration

Please keep them in your prayers.